A bride’s wedding reception took an unexpected turn when she discovered her mother-in-law had secretly changed the menu.

The bride and original poster (OP), Reddit user No_Donut3767, recounted the incident on r/weddingshaming, explaining that she and her husband—who holds dual citizenship—had planned a small wedding of about 30 people in her mother-in-law’s home country.

For the reception, they chose a restaurant with a private dining room and arranged a fixed menu to keep the event simple.

The OP had collected RSVPs and meal selections through a wedding website before giving the final list to her mother-in-law, who was asked to confirm the details with the restaurant to prevent any mistranslation issues.

However, when the big day finally arrived, the newlyweds had an unwelcome surprise.

The OP wrote, “MIL apparently threw the set menu out the window and phoned all her relatives to give them the option of ordering anything they wanted.

“Imagine my surprise when at the wedding reception, we sat waiting ages for food to arrive, and then watched my husband’s family be served fancier dishes that weren’t offered to my family. (Not even to us, the newlywed couple!)

“The kitchen was cooking 15 different appetizers and entrees to order instead of only serving from the two options we’d pre-selected for each course. This awkward dinner lasted hours.

“Before you ask: MIL was not paying the restaurant bill. Husband and I footed the higher-than-expected bill. Oh, and while we were reviewing and signing the check, MIL’s sister swung by to say goodnight — whilst carrying away all the flowers from the centerpieces.”

Redditors React

Reddit users were quick to offer support and advice to the OP, with one suggesting, “Since she decided to order off the menu, you should have told the staff that you will only pay for the food from the set menu. And then pointed them to your MIL to cover her family’s bill.”

Many agreed that how the OP’s husband handled the situation would set the tone for future conflicts involving his mother. “This seems like a good time to find out what your husband’s spine looks like,” one quipped.

Conflicts with overbearing in-laws are not uncommon, particularly during wedding planning. A feature on Love My Dress describes how some parents struggle to accept that a wedding is not their event to control.

Meddling In-Laws

The article suggests that couples establish a firm plan early and be clear about which decisions are non-negotiable. However, as this case shows, even the best-laid plans can be undermined by a determined parent.

Wedding stress is one thing, but ongoing interference from in-laws can take a toll on a marriage. A report from Newsweek explores how meddling from a mother-in-law can lead to long-term tension.

Relationship experts note that issues often arise when a parent struggles to accept that their child’s priorities have shifted. Some mothers-in-law see themselves as having authority over wedding or family decisions, which can create friction if their involvement goes unchecked.

Newsweek has contacted No_Donut3767 for comment via Reddit.

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