A dating coach has highlighted the “biggest mistake” she believes women can make in a relationship, and the video has gone viral on TikTok.

“When you make a man the center of your world, you will become his mother,” warned dating coach Alejandra Maria.

Racking up over 1 million views, Maria—based in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada—shared her advice on what women shouldn’t do in a heterosexual relationship. However, not all users agree.

“There is nothing admirable about being everything to everyone, yet nothing to yourself,” the 26-year-old told Newsweek. “Prioritizing your own needs isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.”

In the March 21 clip shared to @anxiouslyalej, she discourages women from cooking and cleaning for their partners, emphasizing that it doesn’t earn brownie points. Instead, she believes it only “raises a grown man who feels entitled to your time, body, and attention.”

According to a survey conducted by Homeaglow, a cleaning service, just two in five people say they split housework equally. The survey of 1,000 U.S. adults found that more than half of women (67.2 percent) say they do most of the housework.

Maria notes this imbalance can also lead to resentment on the woman’s side. She told Newsweek: “Moving in together is more than a romantic milestone—it’s a merger of two lifestyles.

“Relationship dynamics are like laying concrete: they’re easiest to shape in the beginning and much harder to change later. Don’t accept the unacceptable. Set the standard early and enforce it.”

“Women who win in relationships are the ones who center their lives around themselves,” she states, adding there’s “no downside” to doing that.

In the clip, she encourages women to “de-center men entirely,” adding: “If you treat him like a celebrity, he is going to treat you like a fan. But if you treat yourself like you are the prize, which you are, you will turn him into a believer.”

She told Newsweek: “Women start to lose themselves the moment they say yes when they really mean no. Over time, their self-sacrificing behavior becomes the oxygen of the relationship—constantly giving, without ever receiving. The antidote is boundary-setting.

“When you can say no, advocate for yourself, and prioritize your own self-care, that’s how you stay rooted in your identity.”

Maria added that “me time” is important and should be part of women’s daily routines.

“It needs to be treated like a non-negotiable meeting. Whether it’s a morning workout, journaling, or a weekly solo date—block it in,” she said.

“Build rituals that reconnect you to your essence outside of the relationship. Because if you don’t schedule yourself in, you’ll slowly start scheduling yourself out.”

So far, the clip has 148,000 likes and a mixture of comments.

One user said: “You are essentially telling women to abandon all feminine qualities. No… you can clean and cook for him and still love yourself. Just like he can mow the lawn and fix the flat and still love himself.”

“I’m thrilled to see young women figuring this out!” praised another user.

A third commenter said: “I have to disagree! Nothing wrong with looking after another being. They’re our better half for a reason. If [you] neglect him, [you’ll] pay the price! Take care of your husbands and do it with intent.”

“As a psychotherapist and a woman in the most happy marriage, I can tell you this is 100 [percent]. Keep doing all the things that make you amazing and don’t give those up,” said a fourth user.

Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.