A woman’s Instagram video of herself on her fitness journey became an unintended milestone in an entirely different journey—one of profound grief.

Sierra Mendez was filming her workout in 2023 not knowing her brother, someone she considered her best friend, had died just two hours earlier. Since her loss, Mendez threw herself into her fitness. Now, two years later, her physical strength serves as a symbol for her emotional strength in the face of immense loss. Mendez, 23, spoke to Newsweek about her journey through grief, and how she imagines her brother’s pride in her for her dedication.

“She doesn’t know it yet, but her best friend/brother died two hours before she recorded this,” Mendez captioned the video. “Many of you followed me along this grieving process. It literally happened a few months into my journey and I was already 90 pounds down the last time I saw Blaise—he was so so proud of me. He was one of my biggest support systems.”

Mendez explained the depth of the relationship she had with her brother, Blaise, to Newsweek.

“My brother…was my best friend, as we grew up in an alcoholic and abusive home and had to have each other’s back throughout all of the hardship,” she said. “We shared many mutual friends despite only being two years apart and our favorite thing to do was go on road trips.”

The morning of her brother’s death, Mendez said she remembered feeling unmotivated, but pushed through her workout anyway. Seven hours later, she began receiving multiple phone calls from her mother.

“My mom was blowing my phone up, and I usually don’t answer her calls due to our poor relationship,” she recalled. “Eventually, she texted ‘SOS, it’s about Blaise.’ I finally answered the phone and she shared the heartbreaking news barely able to breathe, she had to hand the phone over to the officer accompanying her at the time.”

Mendez’s first response was disbelief. “Stop lying,” she told the officer. Blaise had just posted an Instagram story hours before, and she had recently stopped by his work. He had been struggling with mental health issues and was living out of his car.

“He had passed on November 8th, 2023 in a tragic one-car accident while under the influence shortly after I spoke with him about not following in our parents’ footsteps,” Mendez said.

‘He Would Be Proud’

Since the loss of her brother, Mendez said she has continued to use the gym as both an outlet and a refuge.

“The gym was the one place I could push the anger out, crying in the weights section, sometimes even pushing more weight than some of the guys next to me,” she said. “It was the one place I could push my body and turn my thoughts off.”

Before Blaise died, he had been one of her greatest champions during her weight loss journey.

“My brother was also the biggest supporter of my weight loss journey and he had even came to the gym with me a few times allowing me to teach him a thing or two,” Mendez shared. “[The gym] became my safe haven and a reminder that he would be proud that I’m still showing up to this day.”

Her gym journey and grief journey have intertwined in ways she never could have imagined. Building physical strength alongside emotional resilience wasn’t easy, but she still showed up.

“I no longer eat for comfort like I did when I was 300 pounds,” she said. “I go to the gym instead, even on my worst days…I still consider it a place for ‘me time’ no matter how bad I’m feeling emotionally or mentally.

“I think showing up on your worst days is the key,” she concluded. “It makes the good days feel like you’re going to the bounce house at your friend’s birthday party when you were younger—and the bad days feel like therapy.”