A mother’s decision to let her husband handle the messy consequences of their baby‘s acid reflux on his own has provoked online criticism of his, “Weaponized incompetence.”

The irritated woman appealed for feedback from fellow Reddit users, explaining that their 4-month-old daughter often vomits after eating, something she has repeatedly warned her husband about.

‘Frustrated and surprised’

Despite her daily reminders, he continues to hold their daughter without a burp cloth and gets, “Frustrated and surprised”, when he ends up covered in spit-up.

On the day in question, the father fed the baby himself, then lifted her over his head—without a burp cloth. As expected, she vomited minutes later.

When he asked his wife to grab him a cloth, she refused, telling him it was a predictable outcome he should have prepared for.

“I told you she just ate, you’re the one who fed her, and you still chose to hold her above you with no burp cloth,” original poster (OP) thingsarehardsoami wrote.

“This is a natural consequence that you can face.”

Her husband insisted she could have taken, “30 seconds”, to help him. Their argument escalated, with her maintaining that he has the ability to grab a burp cloth himself and that his refusal to listen to her repeated warnings made his frustration his own responsibility.

‘Don’t cave’

Many Reddit users sided with the mother, with the most popular comment slamming the husband’s behavior as an example of weaponized incompetence—a term used to describe when, “Someone knowingly or unknowingly demonstrates an inability to perform or master certain tasks, thereby leading others to take on more work, according to Psychology Today.

The leading critic asked, “Why can’t he get his own burp cloth? He sounds either dumb, or purposefully obtuse. Don’t cave—he’ll continue to weaponize his incompetence if you do.”

Several supporters were baffled by the husband’s behavior, with one user remarking, “I think you should stop reminding your husband that she just ate and will throw up.

“He should have learned this by now.”

Another user sympathized: “He sounds exhausting.”

The discussion reflects ongoing conversations about division of labor in parenting.

A study from Postpartum Support Charleston suggests that effective communication in parenting requires both partners to express their needs clearly while also taking accountability for shared responsibilities.

Similar frustrations have been voiced before.

In one case reported by Newsweek, a father insisted his wife handle child care for 16 hours a day while dismissing her concerns as “keeping score.”

Reactions to that incident mirrored the response to the Reddit post, with many arguing that consistently shifting responsibility onto one parent creates unnecessary strain.

Not an Accident

The mom in this case stood firm, arguing that she was not refusing to help out of spite, but rather expecting her husband to take responsibility for a routine situation he should have learned to anticipate.

Many agreed, saying that consistently ignoring the same issue was a choice, not an accident.

Buried in the comments section, the OP quipped that she had “three children“, if her husband counted as one child too.

A user asked: “Wait, he didn’t learn this with the first kid either?”

The OP replied: “Want the worst part? The first kid had reflux too.”

Newsweek has contacted thingsarehardsoami for comment via Reddit.

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