A college friendship fractured when a woman unexpectedly realized she wasn’t invited to a wedding, despite years of shared experiences and personal moments with the bride-to-be.

The woman, aka Reddit user Kind_Software3325, reflected this week on her close friend, “Anna”, and how their group of four women had formed a tight bond in college.

Assumption Fell Apart

They attended choir and yoga together, supported each other through hardships and stayed connected even after graduation.

So, when Anna got engaged, it seemed natural to assume they’d be part of her special day. That assumption fell apart during a walk with Anna when wedding plans came up.

Anna became evasive until she finally revealed the invitations had already been sent—and none of the group was on the guest list.

When the original poster (OP) expressed surprise, Anna apologized, explaining the wedding would be small and choosing guests had been difficult.

She mentioned wanting the group involved in other ways—like asking Jennifer, the group’s fashion enthusiast, to help pick out her wedding dress.

While the OP told Anna she understood, the situation lingered in her mind. She felt uneasy that Anna hadn’t been upfront, leaving her to discover the exclusion indirectly.

This realization prompted her to distance herself from Anna.

“I faced the uncomfortable truth that we were probably not as close as I thought,” the OP lamented.

Formal Invitation

Months later, during a meet-up with Jennifer, the OP learned the situation was even more complicated. Jennifer had seen photos of Anna’s bachelorette party on Instagram—an event she wasn’t invited to.

Despite spending hours helping Anna choose her wedding dress, Jennifer hadn’t received a formal invitation to the wedding either.

“Yes!” Jennifer responded when asked if she was going to the wedding, “I’m the one who has been helping Anna pick out a wedding dress.”

But when pressed, she admitted she hadn’t actually been invited.

The final twist came the day before Anna’s wedding, when she sent the group a livestream link to watch the ceremony remotely. The gesture seemed oblivious to the feelings of those left out.

‘Pretty cheeky’

The OP’s story was felt by many on Reddit who shared similar experiences.

One user recounted, “Years ago, I offered to do all the calligraphy for a friend’s wedding as my gift. Literally spent days on end just doing calligraphy because her mom kept coming up with different things that HAD to be in calligraphy to match.

“Not only did I not get an invite or even an enthusiastic ‘thank you,’ the bride’s mom joked about me not being invited during the wedding according to other people who were there.”

Another user speculated on Anna’s motives: “The livestream link was to get presents. Pretty cheeky.”

According to WikiHow, signs of a true friend include mutual respect and honesty, even when uncomfortable. Failing to communicate directly about such an important event suggests the friendship may not have been as strong as one person believed.

Meanwhile, Newsweek notes that friends who repeatedly take advantage of others without acknowledgment can display toxic behavior, which often leads to the breakdown of relationships, as appears to be the case with the OP and Anna.

‘It’s just odd’

Reflecting on the aftermath, Kind_Software3325 admitted that the pair are now distant acquaintances.

“We have a meaningful, shared history, but people move on, and we are all in different places—mentally and geographically.”

Her connection with Jennifer, her once least close friend in their group, remains intact.

“We are still very different people, but she’s great. It’s just odd. The college friends I felt most close to are not the ones who stuck around.”

Newsweek has contacted Kind_Software3325 for comment via Reddit.

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