Wedding Guests Seated for ‘Beautiful’ Ceremony, But There’s a Problem: ‘I Cringed’


A wedding ceremony in a small Iowa town left guests taken aback when the officiant’s sermon unexpectedly shifted from a heartfelt reflection on marriage to a somber story of tragedy at sea.

The moment prompted a guest then, turned bride-to-be now, to take an unusual step for her own wedding: Writing every single word the minister would say.

The incident was shared on Reddit this week, where the original poster (OP), LadybugGal95, recalled attending her friend’s “beautiful” wedding at the bride’s childhood church.

Grim Tale

The pastor, who had known the bride since elementary school, began his sermon with a sentimental note about the church bells ringing before the service.

However, the message soon turned to a discussion about divorce rates.

Wedding ceremony
Stock image: Couple in a wedding ceremony.

iStock/Getty Images Plus/Lizzie Randazzo

“My husband and I cringed, but I thought maybe he’d circle around and talk about how this couple will make it,” the OP told Redditors.

Instead, the minister veered even further off course—into a grim tale of a storm off Lake Michigan that drowned 36 fishermen.

“My husband and I looked at each other in horror,” the OP continued.

Startled Minister

The experience left such a lasting impression that when planning her own wedding, she insisted on scripting the officiant’s remarks. When the minister jokingly asked, “Do you just want to write it for me?” she immediately said, “Yes.”

Her fiancé explained the reasoning and the minister, startled, pulled out three past wedding scripts and allowed the couple to craft the ceremony’s exact wording.

While most officiants are expected to personalize their message, they are also advised to be mindful of the couple’s expectations.

Kelly Williams, a professional wedding photographer, notes that officiants should meet with the couple beforehand to discuss the tone and content of the ceremony to avoid surprises.

This isn’t the first time a wedding officiant has thrown guests off guard. In a separate incident reported by Newsweek, an officiant subtly announced a football score in the middle of a ceremony, leaving attendees amused.

However, not all unexpected moments are as lighthearted.

Users responding to the Iowa wedding story on Reddit shared their own experiences with officiant missteps.

“So wait, the minister was quoting, ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’ by Gordon Lightfoot? OK…” one user wrote, referencing the famous song about a maritime disaster.

The OP replied, “I had to look this up. I’m going with yes. It was crazy.”

Another user recalled their own wedding officiant struggling with names: “Our minister kept calling my husband Mike (his name is ‘Gary’),” the user shared.

“I finally interrupted him to tell him the correct name and he said, ‘Really?’ Then he started thumbing through his notes to make sure his name wasn’t Mike.”

A fellow user said they “hate” it when officiants go off topic, adding, “The minister at my grandmother’s funeral did that—she said two sentences with vague observations about Grandma’s later years, then talked for 10 whole minutes about how wonderful it was that I was pregnant.

“It was humiliating.”

Divine Inspiration

In reply in the thread the OP said she ended up using the prayer their minister had used for another couple.

“We wrote our own vows so they were non-traditional anyway,” she continued.

“The minister liked to have two Bible verses and, honestly, I couldn’t think of a second that I liked. So I threw in a quote [‘The love of God, unutterable and perfect’] by Dante instead.

“He really liked it and said he might use it again.”

Newsweek has contacted LadybugGal95 for comment via Reddit.

Newsweek‘s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.

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